Nancy Marmolejo: Learning Empathy

Nancy Marmolejo

Deep Genius answers the question, “What are you here to create?”

I am a creature of wonder. I have an insatiable curiosity. It’s the fabric of who I am. I’m always asking, ‘Let’s find a new way.’ Just by looking for it, curiosity lays down new neural pathways. It makes you smarter. It makes you connect new dots together.

I am understanding empathy on a deeper and deeper level.

In the past three years I’ve had three losses, my mom, my ex-husband, and my sister at the beginning of this year. I was anticipating all the possible responses I would get on Facebook. We tend to go into ‘fix it’ mode before we go into empathy. So I stayed off Facebook, and I ended up writing a little book, Don’t Say That, Say THIS!: Navigating Grief and Loss in the World of Social Media.

So much technology is set up to buffer us from life and the responsibility of deep listening, being a witness and being present. We so often trivialize the miraculous experience of being human by compartmentalizing our experience with platitudes.

Sit in a public place and look around. Imagine the Deep Genius residing in each person you see, just below the surface, yet plain to see when you look. It will help you bypass all your projections and judgements about them. Something in your body changes and empathy becomes like a fruit ripening inside you.

The first time I took a figure drawing class I stopped seeing the body. I started seeing lines  and shapes, and it helped me completely turn around the body-image issues I had.

Even in the face of the huge destruction we face in our time, we can only see the world as beautiful and miraculous … a beetle with its iridescent body, a bird drinking at the fountain …

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