I would hide under the kitchen table. I was so empathetic, so overwhelmed by the energy I sensed around me. I wanted to engage with life, but part of me was afraid to do so. Would it be too much for them? Would it be too much for me?
At first I played the ‘good’ boy. But in first grade I wanted to be like the kid who had dropped the f-bomb and I started hanging out with him. I played with the bad kids because I wanted to be noticed. Then when they started telling me what to do, I learned how to say no. But they ostracized me. It wasn’t easy to navigate. I had violent fantasies. There’s a price to pay for refusal.
I came to realize my abilities and potential as I moved forward.
I was sent to the psychiatrists, then in grad school I studied psychology, and people asked me, “How do you know so much about your clients?” They just didn’t understand how I could tune in to people so well..
Unless people are able to express their true self they get sick and depressed.
I learned that if you become certain about something happening, then it just happens. I didn’t think I needed to know anything else. But it became so exhausting, trying to prove to myself that I was right all the time. I started learning new things that opened me up, peeling away old beliefs. I’m still doing it.
I help visionaries not go through the pain I went through.
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