By staying alive we are talking about living at you peak emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and physically. There is no belief associated with this, other than the assumption that it is better to be more alive rather than less .. and that many systems actually encourage resignation and distancing from experiencing life, fully and simply .. as it is.
Life coaching tools and resources from Five Changes

Did you ever learn something that immediately became so obvious that you couldn’t imagine there was ever a time when you had not known it? Like learning a shortcut that made a task quicker and easier than you’d even dreamed possible, or learning new skills you never thought you would, or realizing possibilities that were once completely out of reach.

Afterwards you may still pinch yourself occasionally to make sure it’s real, but you would never think of going back to the old way.

It happens a lot when we’re growing up – learning to walk, or learning to read; learning to ride a bicycle, or to drive a car; or leaving home to go on your first big trip; or falling in love for the first time, or having your first ‘committed’ relationship. There’s a first time for everything, and it’s good to keep going too, with new experiences, new challenges, new accomplishments. It’s either that or resign to the fact that life, and learning, and creativity, is over.

There are other sorts of firsts, less visible breakthroughs, like learning you can be free from an addiction, or healing from a supposedly ‘incurable’  disease, or ending a destructive relationship for which there seemed to be no way out; or breaking a bad habit that had dogged you all your life.

For me it was a huge moment when I realized that I could change my designated gender, and that I could show up in the world representing who I was on the inside. That may sound like a big deal, being transgendered, and it may lie outside the experience of most people. But actually it’s not such a big deal, because most of us have questioned how we want to represent ourselves in the world, so that who you are matches how you live. Some people end up hiding. But it’s never too late to come out as who you truly are .. who you truly can be.

Living a conscious life usually means just that ..  making conscious and sometimes difficult choices and changes .. not constantly, but certainly more than once in your life. That’s how you stay alive, because for our life to be alive it has to be a work in progress.

No amount of strategy or expertise will help if you’re still putting roadblocks in your own way. No amount of hedging and dodging will make up for seizing the opportunity to live (in the words of Mary Oliver) “ .. your one precious, wild life?”


Here’s the first of five qualities that’s essential for bringing out and nourishing this spirit of living. Because the question is always –  How is it possible to embody your truth when life tests you, pushes you to forgetfulness and compromise?

Life coaching itzhak-perlman

So ingredient number one is congruity. Congruity means that two things reflect each other—the inside and the outside, who you are and how you show up, your walk and your talk. If those things don’t match it will wear away at you, costing you time, energy, pain and frustration. Being congruent is an action, an activity, checking in with yourself, so that you remain true to who you are.

Congruity is also feeling and knowing that you’re on track. It’s like being in rapport with yourself. Not creating roadblocks, living the life of your own choosing, and loving it

You recognize it when you see it in others, and you recognize some other qualities that usually come with it .. focus, curiosity, adaptability, a willingness to help others .. the ability to see how best to do that.. in ways that are appropriate. So it also entails having healthy boundaries.

There’s a well-known story about the virtuoso violinist Itzhac Perlman breaking a string in the middle of a symphonic concert and rather than stopping and changing the string he just went on playing and improvised the fingering necessary to play the piece on three strings. He pulled it off brilliantly. The question is whether he knew he could, or simply trusted that he would find the way? So often we may imagine we must know ahead of time, when in fact your strategies are most useful once you know you can. This is more than simple faith, it’s a degree of congruity that lets you trust absolutely the life you’re living, even though you have no idea what’s going to happen next.

Life coaching tools and resources from Five Changes

Life coaching tools and resources, change, trust life, congruity, Life coaching tools, Spiritual congruity, Mediation, MLP, spiritual practice, Neuro linguistic programming, Hypnosis, personal development, unconscious mind.